I don't GET IT.

[lizbeth-mairead.livejournal.com]

I know other people have posted something similiar to this, but now it's happening to me and I could really use some encouragement: I posted a post to my own livejournal, a rather cynical outlook on Obama retaking the oath. I didn't make a big deal about it, but I suppose I was snide (as I think I am perfectly allowed to be, since it's on my own journal).

So why is it that two of my liberal friends come to debate me about it? People have been talking in this community about Democrats, Liberals, whoever it is- coming into Republican or Conservative forums just to harass people. I'm not saying that this is what's happening, but I don't like the fact that I move to say something and people come out of the woodwork to defend Obama.

Sorry, this was probably ranty... it just stresses me out. Why can't they let me just deal with this? =P




[mood| discontent]

Comments

[craneke.livejournal.com]

Totally, completely, and utterly fair for you to feel that way. It's YOUR journal.

[lizbeth-mairead.livejournal.com]

Thank you. It just seems like I make one move to express the fact I just DON'T care for the man, and they come in. If they don't like what I have to say, why do they even comment me, you know? They just WANT to start an argument or what?

[modernelegance.livejournal.com]

I guess the only thing you can do is just ignore their comments and refuse to debate them. Perhaps after awhile they'll quit commenting because they know they can't get a response and get under your skin.

[lizbeth-mairead.livejournal.com]

I hope so. It bothers me though, I suppose, because they're my friends. I hate to disagree with them, but when they start ganging up on you, I suppose the only action IS to ignore their comments... but I hate laying down and not standing up and saying something, then again that might be the smartest thing to do. I just don't know :|

[modernelegance.livejournal.com]

Well it's much less stressful than arguing with them. Or you could just point blank say, this is my journal and if in every Obama entry you're going to try and start a debate I'll begin to screen your comments. No one wants to dread posting in their own journals about stuff that is on their mind. It's your Sanctuary and you shouldn't have to deal with that stress.

[lizbeth-mairead.livejournal.com]

Yeah... that's a really good idea. I think I'll do that from now on, actually (because I'm sure I'll be writing a lot about him in the future). Thank you so much.

[agilebrit.livejournal.com]

I have a filter for my conservative friends. I haven't used it yet, but I might start.

[lizbeth-mairead.livejournal.com]

I didn't know that we could do that... wow, I'm really behind on the livejournal stuff.

[autumnjoy.livejournal.com]

You can make custom filters here (http://www.livejournal.com/friends/editgroups.bml), so that only certain people can see certain entries. I think it's a shame to have to have to resort to doing that, since it's YOUR journal and you should be able to write anything you want in it without having to worry about vicious backlash. But if your flist can't respect you and your opinion enough to be civil, it's certainly an option.

[lizbeth-mairead.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I agree with you, but I also agree with my (very Conservative) Government teacher, who told me before, and again today, "It's like in college- sometimes you engage in debates and you show them you're worth your salt, and if they're the right type of person, they'll respect you for it. And sometimes... you just need to keep your mouth shut. Because they won't shut theirs."

Thank you for showing me this. I'll keep it just in case.

[snackbreak.livejournal.com]

Yeah, and I would mention how respectful you are in comparison... that you put up with 50 billion pro-obama posts on your flist and don't debate them and rain on their parade in their journals.

I put up with all the whining about stuff I believe in/agree with, now it is their turn, is how I see it. :P

[agilebrit.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I posted something angry and bitter the other day, with comments disabled, and was promptly lambasted--in a completely unrelated post--for having the "temerity" to disable comments. I disabled comments because I didn't want to frakking hear it. I was venting. I think I'm allowed to do that in my own space.

I expected to be defriended over that post. I didn't need a rant telling me why and explaining to me how mean and R-rated (OMG! I dropped two f-bombs! Funny how she didn't complain about the four I dropped in an uncut post the other day, but then again, I wasn't giving the finger to some liberal preacher in that one) and over the top I was. Feh, I say.

[lizbeth-mairead.livejournal.com]

Yes! I've had people tell me that too, about disabling comments. Something about it's because I can't "defend myself" or whatnot. Which, of course, makes me want to keep my comments enabled, which starts the whole thing off.

[agilebrit.livejournal.com]

DO NOT let them make you feel guilty for disabling comments. For heaven's sake, sometimes we're just venting and don't want to respond to a bunch of people piling on telling us how wrong we are.

I basically said (in my next post, which was f-locked) that this was my space, and if anyone didn't like the way I ran it, well, there's the door. My political proclivities are there in big bold letters on my profile.

Cue the rest of my flist coming in and petting me and restoring my faith in humanity. Because most of them are awesome like that.

[lizbeth-mairead.livejournal.com]

Good for you. You're the kind of person I look up to, haha, completely!

[lizbeth-mairead.livejournal.com]

Oh my gosh, I'm so glad you caught that too. I was like "...I'm angry? Really? This is news to me." I was snide, yes, but I wasn't ranting (at the time). Yeah, the Muslim thing was kind of... random. I mentioned the Bible. So, thus, I am calling him Muslim. But of course.

I probably wouldn't post political things on mine either, but the fact of the matter that makes me so angry is that: it's my journal. I shouldn't have to be afraid of writing my own thoughts there.

That's why I'm so thankful for this community...

[lizbeth-mairead.livejournal.com]

I think they were just sore because his oath got messed up and I was there to... inform people about it, haha.

Well, if you ever want to find out... you can come comment on mine lj, haha. Augh, I know. It's frustrating and it makes me uneasy and blah bleh bluh. But I'm not going to get walked on and stand by and let it happen either. :|

WHERE on earth did you get that icon? It's genius.

[lizbeth-mairead.livejournal.com]

It was messy. I do feel bad for Obama. His first time as president (and if he doesn't get elected, could be his last!) and that happens to him... I still laughed a little at it though, haha.

[snackbreak.livejournal.com]

it's my journal. I shouldn't have to be afraid of writing my own thoughts there.

More than that, I think more of us SHOULD post what we actually think on our journals. Isn't this supposed to be a free country? Why the hell are we censoring ourselves in a free fucking country?

Plus, it's always, always a battle of ideas, and the way to make any kind of progress for what you believe is to be vocal about it. There's people out there that never get to hear the other side of the fence unless we say something. How are they going to make up their minds for themselves if all they hear is one point-of-view going unchallenged?

[mosinging1986.livejournal.com]

If you've made a specific point that has facts to back it up, ask them to refute it. If they change the topic, bring them back to it.

If you are just ranting, ask them why they think you are not free to do that in your own journal. (Again, don't let them change the topic. Get a reply.)

If they are swearing or calling names or otherwise harassing you, ask them to please stop.

If they do not stop, ask them to leave this particular thread.

If they continue to disrespect your wishes, ask them why they continue to do so.

If they continue, tell them if they do it again, you will remove them from your flist. And then do it.

If they continue to harass you on public posts, ban them.

Problem solved.

***

If you go through all these progressively more serious steps and it's not helping, then you know these people *are not your friends*.

I don't know why people put up with harassment like this.

[lizbeth-mairead.livejournal.com]

Luckily I don't think it will get that bad... I trust that these people won't let our politics ruin our friendship. But these things help me with someone else... thank you.

[mosinging1986.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry if I sounded harsh. It's just that I have seen this so often lately! I don't know what's going on, it's like an epidemic.

Your journal is like your home. You need to make the rules clear, and you need to enforce them. If you do nothing, this will keep happening.

[lizbeth-mairead.livejournal.com]

NO WAY! You're not harsh, actually, I think you're dead eye on the target. I've had it happen to me more than once, and the anxiety of thinking what others might say to me has made me stop posting certain things before, and I feel horrible about that- angry about it, too. I'm all for trying not to offend someone, and I'm all for not stooping as low as "other Democrats" as one of my friends put it- but my journal's for my own thoughts. I shouldn't edit out what I want to say just because I'm afraid they won't like what they'll read.

I think I needed what you said.

[mosinging1986.livejournal.com]

Then my work here is done. LOL!

[http://users.livejournal.com/meredith_/]

I understand how frustrating it is to say something and then get angry responses to it, it's just the way the world is and a lot of things make people angry. There is really nothing wrong with having an opinion about Obama and then expressing it on your journal, but there's also nothing wrong with your liberal friends wanting to debate you on it, even if it is annoying to you. Unless they're being rude, in which case yeah. Chew them out. But if they're being civil? Yeah, just chill. My advice is to just avoid conflict (speaking as someone who's an expert at avoiding conflict LOL) and tell them that you respect their opinions but you don't want to debate. Simple really. Or you could just ignore them. Just try not to get mad.

[arkadelos.livejournal.com]

You can change your setting to "no comment" if you don't want people to reply.

[catsperspective.livejournal.com]

I finally got the nerve to post my thoughts on everything last night. (I've been debating posting it here also) I wasn't brave enough to handle comments so I disabled them. (During the election I made the mistake of saying who I was voting for and that I would NOT debate it with anyone. I ended up in a LJ drama the likes my journal has never seen before, I was horrified)

My husband doesn't understand why I take this all so personally. ("It's the Internet!") But these are people I have been "friends" with for years, it bothers me when suddenly I feel I can't even say what I am thinking anymore.

[lizbeth-mairead.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's what I find the hardest about it: these people are my friends. I don't want to ruin friendships over politics, and that's not what I'm out to do... but we shouldn't be afraid to write about what we're thinking or feeling just because we're afraid they won't like it. It's not fair, really.

[kizmet-42.livejournal.com]

To be honest, I see conservatives doing the same to liberals.

[athornbird.livejournal.com]

If these people are your mutual friends and not randomly linked from some liberal forum to harrass you, honestly, you are going to have to expect comments on a post either public or otherwise viewable to them.
Your rational options here are writing this down in a private post or a friends only post to a filter not including your non-conservative friends, disabling or screening comments, defriending those people or finally just dealing with it.

[snackbreak.livejournal.com]

Yeah, you have to expect that people won't respect that it's "your journal," but you should not have to filter/friends only your thoughts when the other half does not seem inclined to do the same. You have every right to say exactly what you want in your journal and to tell them to GTFO if they aren't respectful enough.

[kimana83.livejournal.com]

It sucks. I ignored pro-Obama posts on my f-list during the election season. I just kept scrolling. Yet just this week I was defriended by two democrats for not being overjoyed about the coronation. So freaking hypocritical!