Cheneyku

[sarahetc.livejournal.com]

For some laughs on a Friday, read Jim Treacher's Cheneyku (and a few cheneyhaterku as well!). I really like this one:

When you attacked me
I disclosed my location:
All up in your face

After yesterday's amazing speech, they're just sort of the icing on the cake.

(no subject)

[coldblossom.livejournal.com]

So what did everyone think about the Cheney vs Obama showdown last night? I thought it was awesome and I wish we'd have it more often!

I think Cheney (as he mentioned in his speech) has absolutely nothing to lose or gain through his very loud protests against the Obama Administrations policies and his vigorous defense of the national security policies of the Bush Administration. He's doing this because he believes it must be done; he's fulfilling his duty as an American citizen. I love love loved how straight-foward his speech was. It was like he didn't just take the gloves off, he actually dipped his fists in glass and decided to really put it to Obama and the Democrats. I loved the line about the waterboarded terrorists being neither innocent nor victims. I loved the part about the New York Times and how it exposed our national security secrets for the sake of a Pulitzer. I loved the whole damn speech.

I really hate how the GOP has been pussy-footing everything. Instead of speaking with true gravitas about the deep hell-hole we've fallen into, they truss everything up in gentle words and little action and then waste time contemplating resolutions to rename the Democratic Party as the Democratic Socialist Party (glad that finally failed). They have so much material to use to attack this administration on its merits and not stoop to mud-slinging. Yet, they refrain. Cheney, bless him, doesn't operate that way. He said was must be said, and I think he'll continue to do so. I am hoping he, plus Steeles' actually rather GOOD speech the other day, will galvanize the GOP to grow a pair and start exposing Obama and the Democrat Congress for what it really is and for what its polices will do and are currently doing to this country.

By contrast, Obama's speech was all about him. It was all about what looks and sounds good, but not about anything of substance. I found it incredibly ironic and somehow appropriate that he chose to use our founding documents that he wholly ignores as a prop for his personal aggrandizement . That's exactly what they are to him: props, meant to make him look good but otherwise to be ignored. So, even as he citied American values and principles in his speech, he completely ignored them, for what is an American's first value but to defend his country at whatever cost? Also, he ignored the fact that the terrorists attacked us before GTMO, before Abu Ghaib, before Iraq and Afghanistan, before Bush. He ignored the fact that the terrorists attacked us not because we compromised our values (which we did not) but because of those values. For someone who is supposed to shine with the brightness of a thousand suns, he sure can't draw logical conclusions even if he's painted a picture. The liberals say his speech was fantastic when it was full of contradictions and lots of flowery but ultimately useless language. One minute he was saying that he would use all means necessary to protect the country, the next he was ruling out "brutal" interrogation techniques like waterboarding. Inevitably the speech came back to being about him and about how he is where he is because of our values, etc. It really showed just how arrogant this man is that everything is about Obama Obama Obama.

Cheney clearly "won" the night, and I hope he continues to do what he's doing. To be honest, Cheney was kind of creepy when he was with Bush. Always silent and in the background, doing who knows what. Now I really like him since I'm able to hear him express himself openly. If he were younger and in better health, I'd be all for Cheny 2012, ha!

(no subject)

[coldblossom.livejournal.com]

Texas Constructs U.S. Border Wall To Keep Out Unwanted Americans

WICHITA FALLS, TX—Calling it an essential step toward securing the Texas border and protecting his people's way of life, Gov. Rick Perry announced Tuesday the completion of a 1,953-mile wall designed to keep out millions of unwanted Americans.
According to Perry, the 75-foot-high barricade running along the northern boundary is the culmination of more than 160 years of escalating tensions between Texas and the United States.

Though a protective barrier has been under consideration for decades, the Texas Legislature voted unanimously to begin construction on the project immediately following the 2008 presidential election.

"As governor, it is my responsibility to do whatever's necessary to maintain the territorial integrity of Texas," Perry told reporters during a press conference held inside a sniper tower overlooking Oklahoma. "If you are a Texas citizen, you shouldn't have to worry about some American coming in here, using your goods and services, and taking away your job."

"Let the record show I have nothing personal against Americans," Perry added. "I just think they should stay in America, where they belong."
The wall is comprised of six security layers: a razor-wire fence equipped with motion sensors, surveillance cameras, and guard towers; a 70-foot-wide trench with expert marksmen stationed along its perimeter; a roadway patrolled by armed vehicles equipped with synchronized electromagnetic wave gradiometers to detect Americans attempting to tunnel their way into Texas; and a second, third, and fourth fence.

The final section of the barricade, a reinforced concrete enclosure containing the city of Austin, will be finished by August 2009.

"These Americans are destroying the moral and social fabric of our state," said Rep. Chris Turner, who added that he worries when he looks around Texas and sees people from places like Pennsylvania, Iowa, and Vermont. "The man who used to repair my truck was replaced by some mechanic who moved in here from Kansas. Lately I can't go to the store or the bank without running into all kinds of these foreigners. This wall is the only hope we have of keeping Texas safe."

"The truth is, Americans are just different from us," Turner added. "We don't even speak the same language."

According to Texas Army National Guard Brig. Gen. Tom Alford, Americans will only be permitted to cross the border if they have immediate family living in Texas, in which case they can apply for a 90-minute monitored visitation to be held inside a checkpoint detention facility.

However, Alford stressed that any American attempting to transport barbecue sauce, beef jerky, belt buckles, or longhorn cattle back to the United States will face the death penalty.

Thus far, a majority of Texas citizens support the border wall, with nearly 8 million signing up to join a coalition of Minutemen that will guard the fence.

"These good-for-nothing Americans want to come in here and wait in the same lines as me, watch the same movies, and eat at the same restaurants," El Paso resident and border patrol volunteer Larry Carlile told reporters. "Who do they think they are? I'd never dare waltz into America and act like I owned the place. That country's a godforsaken hellhole, anyway."

"Round 'em up and get 'em out," Carlile added. "Go back to Seattle or whatever you call it."

Since the wall's completion, there has been no official comment from Washington. However, sources close to President Obama said that upon being informed of Gov. Perry's announcement the commander in chief muttered, "Thank God."

The future.

(no subject)

[tingilya.livejournal.com]

Mississippi's awesome Governor, Haley Barbour, has speaking engagements in Iowa and New Hampshire this summer.

I am so excited for the future. Come on, 2012!

American Idol post-season discussion

[foodsthatcan.livejournal.com]

The season is over, and a white Christian heterosexual male won over a highly-favored white, not-officially-"out"-but-might-as-well-be male. The two profess to be friends. Naturally, the media can't handle this. I thought I'd start a separate post for AI discussion (and venting) since it seems we have a few fans among us. :)